Meme

I’m having one of those days where every meme type picture I see seems to speak to me.  Like this one:

Dumb

Hmm….

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Playing Mas At Carnival? Here’s A Checklist For The Day

Notting Hill Carnival weekend is upon us, and I, for one, am very excited!  The fever is in the air and the events have started.  For those of you who are veteran masqueraders – I might see you on the road!  Those of you going as revellers – have fun and be safe!  And for those of you who will be playing mas for the first time – you’re gonna love it!

This will be my 8th time on the road, so I’m going to let you know what to have and do in preparation for the day – purely based on my experiences.

Collect your costume in good time:  Obviously that’s not necessarily up to you, but if you’re with an organised band, your costume will be ready early enough for you o try it on at home and know what extras you might want to get to jazz it up more, if need be.

Plan your route to your band’s base:  It’s not secret that travelling to West London on that day isn’t straight-forward, due to all the road and station closures, so plan ahead, and do the same for your route home.  If you can arrange for someone to pick you up from somewhere at the end of the day, you’ll be SO thankful.

Carry a small bag for essential items:  I usually have a small bag on me for my phone, camera, cash and lip balm.  A handbag you can strap around you, or a pouch around your waist.  Avoid taking too many valuables.  Also, I don’t carry my whole purse, just a few ££s in case I want to buy something from one of the stalls.

Pack a flag of the country you’re repping: It’s always nice to see others who are from where you are.  I love finding/meeting fellow Ghanaians, mostly because the Carnival is predominantly a Caribbean celebration.

Wear as much of your costume under your clothes:  To avoid having to get naked in an inconvenient or public place, I always wear my bra and shorts under the t-shirt & jeans/leggings I’m wearing while making my way there in the morning.  That way all I have to do is strip when the time comes.  You should bring a bag to keep the things you won’t be needing on the road, like your outer wearm make-up, etc, and you should be able to leave them safely at your band’s base.

Stay safe:  I believe that being a part of a carnival band is the safest way to attend, so always make sure you don’t venture too far from them if you decide to go walkies.  If you’re with friends and you become separated, you should probably agree on a meeting place.  I’d say the best place is back with your band, because you will be with familiar people, and you’ll probably need to be with them to head back to base and collect your belongings, or get on the coach (if you came with one).

Lastly:  HAVE FUN AND DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING!!!!!!

Have I forgotten anything?

 

Random Thoughts & Observations From The Office II

Source: unlimitedlolzzz.com

Source: unlimitedlolzzz.com

 

Check me getting here within 90 minutes of the agency call! The life of a temp, eh?

Aww these people are nice. I feel like a permanent staff member.

Oh my gosh, I’m actually starving now and there’s no non-carby thing for me to have as my breakfast.  Grrr… Today is gonna be a Many Cups of Tea kinda day…

See that’s what I like – non-judgey people who understand that you should be happy in your job.

Hmm… I don’t want to wear these clothes to go out tonight, but what to wear, what to wear?

Maaaan… that egg & cress roll has taken me about 3 hours to eat and now I feel like I must look pregnant.  Bloated like whaaaat.  I’ll just go for a walk on my break methinks.

Hahahaha! Someone just called me ‘Wonderful Wendi’ on the phone.  Isn’t that what I’ve been telling people for years???!

Woah… some of these phone calls are hardcore.

My silly friends need to stop making me laugh while I sit here alone!

I should really go for a pedicure on the way home today.

Uh-oh… The afternoon sleepy feeling is starting to creep in…

If it was possible for me to eat nothing all day on Monday and feel fine, I would.  The way I’m feeling right now, I don’t know how my carnival costume is gonna look… Curses to delicious refined carbs!

Hahahahahaha! One of the guys just said that he feels unloved, because he has no mail.  Then he joked “I blame you Wendi.  It’s up to you to take care of my mail needs…”  Then he quickly retracted the statement and ran out, because of how it sounded!

But seriously, what is a ‘prayer warrior’?  I’m gonna have to Google it.

Not replying to someone’s message from days ago is just rude and ignorant behaviour.  Anyway…

I need to find out if they need me here again tomorrow.

Dear Everyone, Block block block block…

Source: heartifb.com

Source: heartifb.com

Dear Everyone,

I’m not sure if you’d noticed, but I’ve been taking part in a blogging challenge created by super-blogger Luvvie called ’31 Write Now’, where I have to publish a post every day for the 31 days of August.  The first week was okay, I was able to line up the topics I wanted to write about, in advance.  The second week, I started slowing down slightly, but I would find inspiration at the last minute.

This is the third week now and I am starting to get stressed out!  I have a couple of post ideas to come for certain dates, but right now I’m just BLOCKED.  I’ve been wracking my brain, surfing the web, monitoring Facebook and Twitter and chatting on the phone, all in search of inspiration.  I didn’t actually want to mention that I was doing a challenge, I just wanted you to enjoy the frequent posts – I know they were way overdue!  But for the sake of writing, I’m sharing my current feelings with you.

As a writer you are always told by the experts that the only way to be better is to just keep writing.  Even if you think what you’re writing is nonsense, just write, write, write.  I have great difficulty with this, because I’m the type who won’t do something if I think it won’t work or be good (a trait I’m slowly working on changing), but today I’m putting that theory to practice, and admittedly I’ve written more than I thought I would.

So now I’m going to retire the stressing for the day, and just see what happens tomorrow.

Thank you for listening, and have a lovely evening.

“Kim Kardashian is the hardest working young lady in the world”

Source: celebuzz.com

Source: celebuzz.com

A couple of weeks ago President Obama gave an interview and spoke about what the American Dream has become.  He said success used to be about having a good education, a good job, a good home and feeling secure, but it is now about having flashy cars and living in massive houses, basically wanting what celebrities have.

I think, there has also been a shift in culture. We weren’t exposed to the things we didn’t have in the same way that kids these days are. There was not that window into the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Kids weren’t monitoring every day what Kim Kardashian was wearing, or where Kanye West was going on vacation, and thinking that somehow that was the mark of success.

Well Kim’s pimp mum Kris Jenner didn’t really appreciate Obama mentioning her daughter in that way and, among other things, said on her talk show:

And Kim Kardashian is the hardest-working young lady in the world. She never sleeps, she never stops, she never slows down and works so hard for what she’s got.

Now I mentioned this story to my cousin, and she said she can see that Kim really does work hard.  She said it can’t be easy travelling all over the way she does, having to promote this and that.  I’m sorry but I disagree.  I have a problem with the word ‘hard’ being used in this way.  I don’t think it’s hard to travel all over, I just think it can be tiring.  There’s nothing hard about being paid thousands of dollars to make brief appearances at a club or event.  Or to turn up on red carpets to be photographed.  Hard work to me is what my mum has to do; looking after the elderly, lifting them, washing them and cleaning up the poo that some of them decide to smear around the room.  Or what my other cousin, a barrister, has to do; reading through piles and piles of paperwork through the night, so that she leaves court with the right outcome for the person whose life currently depends on her.  I know I don’t have to list all the professions we know take years of study and honing to achieve.  Being a socialite is just not one of them, sorry.

I read about this whole thing on Madame Noire, and one of their readers commented:

“Ok Kris Jenner. Let’s be clear. Kim hasn’t really “worked” that hard for anything. She had a staring role in “Kim does Ray J” which you parlayed into a family business. Now because of YOU the rest of the world has to endure your family being famous for absolutely nothing! The only reason you have a talk show is because of the “work” you have done pimping out your children for the cameras. Please have a seat and be quiet. You know POTUS is right.”

Exxactly.  By the way, if you didn’t already know, POTUS = President Of The United States.  But as much as it pains me to say it, at a stretch Kris The Momager is who can be considered as the one who has worked hard.  Trying to convince us that her offspring have some sort of talent that we should deem relevant can’t be easy.  Otherwise… nah.

What do you think?

Hi, My Name Is Frankenstein…

names

One of my cousins told me that her daughter has made a new friend at her new school… a little girl called Pirouette.  I found it so funny.  What possible meaning could that name have in relation to the girl’s character or what she wants for her in life??  Then my friend told me that she used to work at an airport and came across a traveller called Frankenstein, probably Frank for short.  That basically finished me!

So I decided to take to Facebook and ask others what kind of crazy-sounding names they’ve come across in their lifetimes.  Be ready to laugh or ask “WTF?”

“Paucaline – a hybrid of Paul and Pascaline”

“Yung Ting”

“Sam Sung”

“Unique which I thought was a bit odd, and Svastika (I know the meaning is all good but please).”

“Wingclips.  Her name is Winklette but everyone calls her Winglips.

“Mercy Of God.  I went to pick up my nephew from nursery and there it was, STRUGGLING to fit over the name peg.”

“Dolphin, for a little girl.”

“I knew a family whose surname was Jackson, and they named their children Michael, Jermaine, Janet and Jackie!”

“I knew a brother and sister called JR & Sue-Ellen when I was younger.”

“I know someone with the last name Baambaamboom!!!”

“I know of a man called Desire.  And a young boy called Storm.  And someone said they taught a student by the name of Honest Banana.”

“A boy called Champion, a little girl called Supreme and siblings named Bluebell and Bearblue.”

“I used to work with a man called Raspberry”

“Love Jones”

“I’ll give you a list of common funny English names in Zimbabwe: Prosper , Effort, Backstroke, Freestyle, Butterfly, Coward, Dick, Memory, Shakespeare, Judas”

Aaaaaaand on that bombshell…..

Should wine be watered down?

wine

On Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff this morning, one of the topics they discussed was about the Health Minister, Earl Howe, proposing that alcohol – particlarly wine – be watered down, in order to preserve the livers of the middle class.  They are well-known for rewarding themselves with a bottle of wine or two after a hard day’s work.

Now this is my problem; if I and my girls want to have a bottle of wine or two in preparation of a night out, or even during a night out, why should we have to suffer weak wine, because there are richer people out there who drink it like it’s fruit juice?  Just because you’ve spent the day telling your assistant what to do, you think your day has been hard and must numb it with  alcohol.  But yet apparently NHS figures show that professionals are almost twice as likely to drink heavily than those on lower incomes, and I think that if those of us of a “lower class” did the same, we’d probably labelled as alcoholic wasters.  You’ve got to laugh really.  Who is forcing people to drink two bottles of wine a day for dinner?  Who is forcing people to have liquid lunches?  No one.  Therefore there is no need to weaken the content, because as Ghanaians would say: “It’s not by force.”

According to an article in the Daily Fail Mail:

alcohol consumption has, on average, been falling since 2004.

This clearly can not be the case if they feel they need to water it down!

Throwback Thursday: I Don’t Wanna Come Down

For this week’s throwback I decided to take a leaf from my pal Lanrizzle’s blog and show you what I think is possibly my favourite tune from what are possibly my favourite dance movies – the Breakin’/Breakdance movies.  In my opinion, these films are the ancestors of all the corny streetdance movies that the kids these days are into.

For some reason I just love this tune by Mark Scott.  It could be because he kinda sounds like Michael Jackson, so that should be of no surprise to you.  Also back in the day, this scene in the movie was fascinating – he’s dancing on the ceiling!!!  Wowwwwwww, he’s magiiiiiic… Heh heh heh…

Enjoy!

Nonsense From My Day

nonsense

During an episode of Big Brother UK, Gina said “irregardless” twice in one sentence.  I maintain that this isn’t a word, though I’ve been told that those who use it are combining “irrespective” and “regardless”.  Then what’s the problem with using one of those on its own?  Sorry, but it’s still not a proper word.

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Then I switch it over and Jeremy Kyle is on.  I can’t take this show, I can feel my brain cells burning while watching it, but because there was jack sh*t else to watch and I was getting dressed, I left it on as background noise.  That’s when I heard Jeremy say “This 20-month year-old child…”  Sorry?  20-month year-old child?  Ok.  Maybe I’m missing something.  Do any of you know what your parents did on your 20-month year’th birthday?  No?  Me either.

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My friend Delali told me that she was looking at a recipe for ‘Mackerel salad with spinach & avocado’, and in the description it said that you would need “two rashers of bacon.”  Maybe again I’m missing something, so I’ll repeat what the recipe was for:  Mackerel salad with spinach and avocado.  Mackerel is fish right?  Or is there a new species of pig also called a ‘mackerel’ that I didn’t know about?  WHAT’S WITH THIS COUNTRY’S OBSESSION WITH PUTTING PORK IN EVERYTHING????  Swines.

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I’ve realised that every time I step out of my home, the breeze or general air makes my Blackberry device start behaving like a nutcase and it scrolls all by itself, usually downwards.  All the way to the bottom of whatever page it’s on, and I then look like I’m having a fight with it when I’m trying to type.  I’m really hating my Blackberry right now, and I can not wait until December!  Upgrade time 🙂

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So basically what the stores are telling me is that if you are a woman with an ample bosom, you can’t expect to wear a pretty or sexy bra.  In order to purchase a pretty or sexy bra, you will literally have to sacrifice one of your bill payments, or go without food for a while.  Is that what you’re telling me, stores?  So many of these nice bras only go up to certain sizes, as if (most of) the rest of us are to blame for our sizes!  Hmpf.

Let me pour myself a drink and block out any further nonsense…