My Body and Me

There seem to be a lot of discussions I’m seeing recently surrounding body image and body type.  Then again, it’s always a point of discussion which usually involves participants criticising the areas of their bodies they dislike and would do away with, if given the chance.   Today I read a piece by my fellow blogging buddy Bim Adewunmi (Yoruba Girl Dancing) about how she is one of those rare women who doesn’t have a complaint about her body, and it’s funny, because I have felt a similar way for a while now.  I’m curvy.  I always have been, and probably always will be.

The other day, in a moment of complete boredom, I went through all the photos I am tagged in on Facebook, and while I was reminiscing it occurred to me that there has not been a time in my life that I haven’t felt fat, or as though I was the largest person in the group.  Take the above photograph for example;  it was taken while on a holiday in St Lucia in 2006, where I went with (among others) two of my closest girls who are petite, sample sized fashionistas.  I felt like SUCH an elephant on that trip, and I was quite paranoid about wearing a swimsuit in front of everyone else.  But when I look at the picture now, I think to myself that I quite like my shape and size there, especially because in the years that have followed there have been times I have put on quite a bit of weight, which then makes me want to slap myself for wasting energy worrying about it back then.  I’m quite fortunate in that when I put on weight, it spreads evenly around my body, so I still have the same shape… there’s just more of it.  I enjoy food, I can’t help it.  Food is such fun.  I don’t binge on crap continuously, but I also don’t deny myself treats.  In the past year I have found a healthy diet plan and exercise I enjoy that works for me, and if I fall off it, it’s not the end of the world, I just know I have to be a little more focussed, but I don’t stress myself about it.  I’ve tried a few diets in the past, and I have learned that another thing that has come with me accepting my body is I realise I don’t have to put pressure and time constraints on it if I want to lose a bit of weight.  I just know that I will lose what I want to lose eventually.  As much as I like what I have, there are still areas I want to improve, like the seemingly impossible to flatten mid-section, but I’m not obsessed about it.  I never buy clothes in a smaller size and tell myself I’m going to diet to fit into it.  That’s nonsense to me.  Life’s too short for me to not just buy this top or dress in the necessary size and make it work.

Even in terms of the opposite sex, I’m not going to be everyone’s type and I’m not naive enough to assume that all men want very slim or skinny girls.  Despite what the media try to make us believe, I know this isn’t true, and I know that there are men who are very attracted to my body type, so there you go.  I receive compliments and I’ve learned to take them on board instead of dismissing them.

So obviously if you aren’t happy with yourself then do something about it, but don’t let it consume you.  That’s boring.


7 comments on “My Body and Me

  1. So well put Wends! I dig this post a lot. I’ve also accepted that I’m not designed to be super curvy, so instead I enjoy the positives that come with my small frame instead. P.S That photo is and always will be amazing. You looked gorgeous that day ( and all the other days) in St Lucia. I’m still on a mission to find a similar swim suit. xoxo

  2. Great post Wendi! I’m feeling this post and the photo especially too. It’s simply beautiful, and says everything without the need for text (although that was a good read too).
    Loving and accepting our bodies, regardless of imperfections is what it’s all about…Plus, being realistic about what God had given us with in terms of aspirations, ie, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll have the body of Naomi (damn it!)…
    Most importantly too is balance…I won’t ramble on, but if you’re interested, come down to one of my Zumba classes soon (what area are you based in? Currently branching out. I actually love it and my classes are fun – I use Afro beats, soca, as well as Latin music, so a nice party feel to it (less cheese!). Hope you can make it one day xx

  3. I agree cuz. I would like to just add a point regarding health, its good to like you as you are but be aware of issues that may occur when being over or under weight. Healing starts from within and we should all learn to love ourselves!!!

    p.s. let me know if you want advice on flattening your mid section.

    William Ofei-Kwatia

  4. First of all, I love, love, LOVE that photo. I think you look fab! Secondly, great blog post hun. I think that generally, we as a people, are never satisfied with what we have. I found Bim’s piece great to read but realised that unfortunately she’s in the minority; most people have some sort of issue with their body. Most of it lives inside our heads, most of it has to do with our own insecurities.

    Mine is that I feel I don’t have the body shape a black woman is ‘supposed’ to have. I don’t possess a big bum or thick thighs and even my Mum & sister used to tease me about my lack of black girl bum when I was younger, which never helped! Also, unlike you, when I put on weight it doesn’t spread evenly to keep my body in proportion, instead it goes right to my belly. Small girl, petite frame and big belly is NOT a good look! Like you, I love my food with a passion, and (unless I’m going on hols somewhere that requires a bikini, lol) I don’t like to deny myself treats either.

    I think like Iola said above, it’s all about “Loving and accepting our bodies, regardless of imperfections”. It’s not easy, but we can damn sure try x

  5. Wendi MyLove: This post is late in coming but I’ve found you and very glad I did.

    Love this blog/post; case and point-it’s who you are inside that people fall inLove with… “Sure some have body types in mind but in the end they Love a person.”

    So much of communication is non verbal and we can honestly all be ‘horse whisperers’ for a day with each other! For us boys there is ‘Prince’ to ‘Shak Oneil’ to aspire to and you girls ‘Kylie M’ to ‘Silk’ these all very sexy sireen/symbols in their own right! Like you said – ignor the “BS” and learn to Love YOU! You pour out what you pour in/Love thy neighbour as you Love Thy Self 1st…

    &you have no idea how much we like your ‘cuRves’ do you?

    Amor et Preces
    Bai Kagbo

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