Speakeasy: Gypsy Weddings, Adoption, African Caribbean Leukaemia Trust, Weaves vs Coloured Contact Lenses, and Oral Sex

The March edition of Speakeasy was a slightly more intimate affair, but the discussions were still as lively as ever..

What did you think of the Channel 4 show ‘My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding?

One lady commented that, as a Catholic, she thought their lifestyle was a contradiction, because she has never known fake eyelashes, fake tan and fake fingernails to be a part of a young girl’s attire for her Holy Communion.  I have to agree. I’m not a Catholic, but I completely agree that their lifestyle seemed extremely contradictory, and as I was watching the series that’s all I kept saying.  On one hand they have the very Christian morals of no sex before marriage, girls don’t mix with boys unsupervised, respect for elders, and divorce is not allowed, among other.  But then you see the young girls dress very skimpily in the daytime, gyrating at parties at night in ways they shouldn’t know how, and then the so-called ritual of “grabbing”, where boys literally and forcibly grab a girl to try to snag a kiss, which at times seemed a little violent.  It was fascinating television, and every week Twitter was awash with hilarious and sometimes offensive comments.  But one thing I disagreed with was those who said that some of the offensive comments were racist, and that everyone would be up in arms if the word ‘gypsy’ was replaced with ‘black’ or ‘Asian’.  No.  From what I can see, ‘gypsy/traveller’ is not a race, it’s a lifestyle.  You can not look at a gypsy and know straight away that they are a gypsy, but the same can not be said for a black person.  Their skin colour is the first thing you would notice, maybe before you acknowledge their sex.  So I don’t think ‘racism’ is a valid argument… prejudice more like.

What do you think?

Channel 4's 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding'

A couple were recently refused the right to adopt because they stated that if a child in their care were to have homosexual tendencies, they would try to talk them out of it. Discuss.

One person responded asking why sexual morals are even part of the agenda when interviewing for adoption, and another responded that being a parent and being an adoptive parent are two different things.  Unfortunately adoptive parents have to be perfect, and sometimes they’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t.  Another participant remarked that just because the couple said they “would not encourage it”, does not mean they are homophobic.  I agree with this.  I also don’t understand why a question of a child’s potential sexuality should even yet be an issue.  Is it not more important to know that they will rather love and care unconditionally for the child?  The worst thing is that this couple had previously adopted and were re-applying to adopt again, so why didn’t those in charge take a look at the previous adopted children, or even speak to them to gauge what the couple are like as parents.  If a child’s future sexuality is so important, why not question EVERY parent-to-be, biological or otherwise?!  This couple has been rejected for a situation that has not even happened yet. 

What do you think?     

Is the campaign for the African Caribbean Leukaemia Trust (ACLT) to raise £80,000 by the end of March or face closure a futile exercise, because in six months time they will need to raise those funds again?

The first person to speak said that they felt the ACLT should have hired proper PR to continually spread the word and keep them in business, but that the problem is people percieve it to be an organisation only for black people, when really it is for non-whites.  Another commented that charities and organisations are always looking to we the poor folk to donate our sheckles, when those in high positions with their six-figure salaries could band together and raise the money in no time.  One of my friend’s was working on t he fundraising campaign and she said she was shocked at how little was donated by celebrities.  On one hand they preach about giving back to their community, but when they are actually approached, all they care about is the face value of it all – as long as they are photographed appearing to be doing good, without actually doing much.  The ACLT have managed to reach their goal and beyond, and hopefully it would not have been in vain.

What do you think?

African Caribbean Leukaemia Trust

Can a woman with a weave make disparaging remarks about a woman with coloured contact lenses?

I seriously have something against coloured contact lenses, especially on black women, and even more deeply against men.  It just doesn’t look natural on the women and I don’t think the men look manly while wearing them (and I do like a manly man).  One lady at the discussion said that before Facebook there were never so many negative comments made about women’s appearances, and another said that people only put others down to feel better about themselves.  The comment I agreed with was that it is pretty much to do with fashion trends and coloured contact lenses are so old school.  Granted, I didn’t like them in the 90s when people were wearing them, but at least back then it was pretty much the in thing.  In 2011, I just don’t get it.  The basis of the argument is that women who wear weaves and women who wear coloured contacts are both displaying signs of being ashamed of their race, but this argument is so tired that I’m not even going to go into it.  I look at both in terms of style, and in my opinion a good weave looks better than coloured contact lenses.  A bad weave deserves to be dissed right back.

What do you think?

Is oral sex a taboo – yes or no?

One person commented that it is a taboo depending on how you are raised.  It is generally believed that bad girls do and good girls don’t.  I think it is still taboo, because it is not something that people freely admit to doing. Simples.

What do you think?


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