Speaking Easy: Porn, Cellulite, Relationship constraints, Superiority complexes, Black History Month, Bad breath

This month’s Speakeasy topics for you to ponder:

If entering into a new relationship, should men get rid of all their porn DVDs and women throw away their ‘toys’, or do they have a place?

There’s no need for these things to be thrown away, put away maybe, but not to be rid of.  As some people in the discussion commented, these items could actually help spice up the relationship when it is in danger of becoming stale.  If you get jealous and consider it cheating because your man has porn DVDs, then I’d say you need something else to focus on in life.  Likewise for men being  jealous that their girlfriend may have a toy in a drawer somewhere.  If you’re fortunate (or not) to spend every waking moment together, then these items may not be necessary to you, but I do agree that they can only do more good than harm.  And before you ask…. no I don’t have any toys… don’t need ’em…

What do you think?

Do stretch marks and cellulite (on women) bother men more than women?

To be honest, if I was to go by my own body, namely my thighs, I wouldn’t know that they aren’t acually supposed to be two-toned like they are.  I’ve only ever known stretch marks.  I know I have cellulite also, but to be honest I haven’t really notice where.  Both those things I have never worried about, and I think if you show that it bothers you, guys will notice it too.  Personally I have never had any comments from the opposite sex concerning stretch marks or cellulite on my body, and the general consensus in the debate was that guys don’t really care about that sort of thing.  They initally notice a woman’s shape, then once they get to know her, they don’t sweat the small stuff like stretch marks… allegedly.

What do you think?

Why do people put time constraints on events in a relationship, like the first kiss, talking about children, etc?

The general consensus was that for guys it is mostly peer pressure, and for girls it’s a way of ensuring that they don’t come across as fast and easy.  I think girls have been inundated with ‘advice’ from a lot of self-help books, which tell us things like “don’t kiss until the third date” and “wait three months before sleeping with him.”  But as one female said, people should just do what they feel like doing and not care what others think of them.  Likewise, people should stop getting in other people’s business, because what they do doesn’t concern anyone but themselves.  I also think that once a woman reaches a certain age, the old biological clock starts ticking loudly, meaning the amount of time she has left to do things “properly” is shorter.  Obviously this isn’t the case for all women…

What do you think?

Do women who don’t relax their hair think they’re superior to those who do?

I have to say…. with 100% honesty…. that I have previously found that women with natural hair have looked down on those who don’t wear their hair in the same way.  In this case I take the ‘relaxed hair’ to also include those with weaves.  Someone said during the debate that if women with relaxed hair feel that way, then it must be in their imagination and actually how they feel about themselves, but I disagree.  It rather comes across by some – not all – as an “Ugh, you’re not as proud to be black as I am.”  Although I personally have not relaxed my hair in over a year and it is in its natural state, I do wear extensions/weaves because I simply like variety – I change my hairstyle every month.  I’m not even going to enter into a ‘Why do women wear weaves?’ type of debate, because that is so tired (though when the question in this topic was read out, there was a lot of huffing, puffing and tutting because some misunderstood what was being asked).  Women who relax their hair know full well what goes into it, especially since it was discussed in Chris Rock’s documentary ‘Good Hair’, and it is a convenient choice they have made for themselves.  I definitely don’t think all ‘natural sistas’ think they are superior, but the question hasn’t come from nowhere..

What do you think?

Does Black History Month mean anything anymore?

Black History Month does still have a bit of meaning, though the hype is not as much as it should be, and although it is true that it should be a constant year round event, it isn’t.  Therefore if a month has been dedicated to it, I think it is up to us to educate those who would otherwise not have a slight clue about events in black history.  People have to realise that we are not in a predominantly black country, so unfortunately the number of people who would like it recognised as a mainstream thing isn’t enough for the government to rule black history as standard in the curriculum.  I have also been hearing the predicted snide comments of, “Well there should also be a White History Month”.  To those people I ask two things:  What is it you think we have been forced to learn at school all this time?  What can you actually tell me about events and people in Black History, without mentioning the names Martin Luther King and Malcolm X?

What do you think?

If your colleague’s breath smells, should you tell them?

If you know an inoffensive way of doing so – then yes!  I once had a colleague, a pretty young girl, who was prone to an overwhelming scent of body odour.  None of my other colleagues and I knew how to tell her, so we left it to our supervisor to do it.  We were never told how it was said, just that “it’s been done.”

How would you do it?

Advertisements

2 comments on “Speaking Easy: Porn, Cellulite, Relationship constraints, Superiority complexes, Black History Month, Bad breath

  1. Q: If entering into a new relationship, should men get rid of all their porn DVDs and women throw away their ‘toys’?
    A: NO! And she chats such foolishness we have issues cause we’re clearly not on the same wavelength.
    Keep your toys, if I’m not around use ’em. If I’m around, allow me to do the honours.

    Q: Do stretch marks and cellulite (on women) bother men more than women?
    A: *Shrugs* I dunno. I’ll deal with you same way, but I haven’t come across it that often in my travels…

    Q: Why do people put time constraints on events in a relationship, like the first kiss, talking about children, etc?
    A: Different answer for different subjects. If a chick bangs me on first date good luck being my wife. I’m not saying it’s impossible. I’m just saying good luck. But each to their own. We all have our own ‘standards’ and time frames we feel acceptable.

    Q: Do women who don’t relax their hair think they’re superior to those who don’t?
    A: Again, I don’t know but they should. But only superior in the respect of hair (if there are no extenuating circumstances in regards to said hair being fake) not in life in general. Calm down ladies.
    And please don’t ask ‘why’ they should feel that way. I’ll assume you already know the answer and are just playing silly. Or you are actually silly and I don’t really wanna talk to you.

    Q: Does Black History Month mean anything anymore?
    A: KMT! *looks to next question*

    Q: If your colleague’s breath smells, should you tell them?
    A: Depends on your relationship with your colleague. If it’s gonna cause more trouble than good than forget it really. It’s them going home with the problem, not you.

    Peace & S4L!
    Stav

  2. Q: If entering into a new relationship, should men get rid of all their porn DVDs and women throw away their ‘toys’?
    A: What StavrosBoss said. You might not want to make porn and toys a conversation starter on date one, but when getting into a relationship as two adults, it would be a hindrance if either one of you were that prudish that you would demand this of the other. Sex between two adults who love one another should be respectful. Neither porn nor sex toys alone by their definition is a cause of disrespect. Making ridiculous, immature and selfish demands on the other hand…

    Q: Do stretch marks and cellulite (on women) bother men more than women?
    A: Men honestly really don’t give a **** about this stuff. Nor matching underwear. Women’s magazines make women worry about this and then convince women that men care about it when we don’t. Shape and *general* taking care of oneself is of course important

    Q: Why do people put time constraints on events in a relationship, like the first kiss, talking about children, etc?
    A: More old wives tales. I had a very long relationship with a woman who I had sex with on a first date. If you’re both doing something because it feels right at that moment and you’re comfortable within yourself then the other will feel that. If you’re doing it because it’s your only device then…. #fail

    Q: Do women who don’t relax their hair think they’re superior to those who don’t?
    A: I think some do, some don’t. Likewise some men who don’t wear their jeans around their ankles feel superior to men who do. But not all of us, lol

    Q: Does Black History Month mean anything anymore?
    A: Never did

    Q: If your colleague’s breath smells, should you tell them?
    A: I don’t know if you should, but I always would

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s